This is my story…

On March 11, 2013 my husband called me from work. He was sick. He was heading to the hospital emergency. “Don’t meet me there,” he said. “I’ll be o.k.” I kept to my schedule, but by evening I was frantic. He wasn’t answering his cell phone. I didn’t know which hospital he was at. Finally he called. I went there and waited.

This was the beginning of our journey that ended, for him, on June 8, 2013. And my life, as I knew it, was gone from that moment on. Half of me died with him. And I began to learn the real meaning of life, living and trying to survive through a horrible grief journey.

I started blogging about the hospital – Hospital Diaries – but became too drained to finish. Then it was about life without him – After He Was Gone. Now, sometimes, I blog about other things in my life but it is always an evolution as I walk (sometimes clawing) that path through the grief journey .

In North America we don’t talk about death. We are without any  tools to cope as the survivors of a tragedy, often resulting in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Writing has helped me through this journey, but I have also found it has helped others who have lost loved ones, or are going through the process of living with the impending death of the ones they love most.

Some people say that through my journey they have begun thinking about the impact on their own lives. What happens if the person they love most dies? It puts a totally different spin on your relationship you have in the present. If today was your last day together would you have any regrets? Because even if you try to deny it, death is a part of life. There’s no way that you won’t lose that person some day, or they might lose you. It’s painful but reality. And it becomes the most intense journey of your life.

So I share my story with those who want to read it. It’s been filled with horrible grief and tears, but also good moments and many amazing revelations. Despite the pain of living without him, this was Bob’s gift to me, and hopefully his gift to you too.

You can find out more about me here: About Suzanne

11 responses »

  1. Wow, awesome blog structure! How lengthy have you been blogging for? you make running a blog look easy. The full look of your site is excellent, let alone the content!


  2. Suzanne, I have laughed and cried with you on this journey. How wonderful that you see this as Bob’s gift to you. I’m sure there will be more in the days, weeks, and years ahead. Thank you for sharing them.


  3. Hi Suzanne! I just wanted to let you know that one of your post was very good. Thank you so much for the message.


  4. Hi Suzanne. I tried posting this comment to your latest post and it wouldn’t take, so am trying to post it here. Fingers crossed: Suzanne, I am so glad to hear that the upside is winning, and that the downside is slowly fading away. By focusing on the positive things in your life, and the things you CAN control, you empower yourself to create a future that will help you shine and bring light to your life. I’m always with you in spirit, and to lean on if you need me.


  5. Your post worked, Doreen. Sorry for the difficulty. Thank you so much for your feedback. I do believe the upside is winning too. I am learning that you have to want to be happy and I wasn’t at the place until recently. Now I am doing things to be and stay positive. It’s empowering for sure. I also find that it’s true that people gravitate to you when you’re positive, another bonus. But you know all of this. You have lived your life in a positive, empowering way. You are a true inspiration. Thank you for being there for me, always.


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