It’s O.K. I’m Over It

My daughter tells me about an event that happened recently. She tears up, obviously upset. But when she’s done recounting the incident she dries her eyes, turns to me and says “It’s O.K. I’m over it.”

How can you just be “over it?” I think. It’s just like saying “Whatever.” It’s dismissive, like you don’t really care about it. Or do you?

I started thinking about this. Being a writer, rejection comes often. You have to have some mechanism to move on without letting it get to you, so maybe this is the perfect way to do it. In that moment, I decided to apply this seemingly nonchalant attitude to things that were bothering me. Of course I would allow myself some time to wallow in my personal feelings of misery and nurse my bruised ego, but not long enough for it to dissuade my belief that the idea had merit and someone out there would find it interesting.

Recently, I sent a draft proposal for a non-fiction book to an agent. His reply wasn’t what I would consider “favorable.” He didn’t totally reject the idea, but felt that in its present form it wouldn’t fly.

I took his remarks to heart because, up until that point, everyone I told about my idea showed incredible enthusiasm. My “test group” wasn’t just close friends and relatives, it included other writers and non-fiction authors I admire; even everyday people who don’t count writing as their full-time profession. In every instance they gave me hope. But when I e-mailed it to this agent I received what I perceived to be an outright rejection.

And so I fell into this slump thinking “What made me think this was a good idea? If he said it wouldn’t work he must be right.” Over time, of course, I realized where he was coming from and that my style of writing and target readership were different than what he may have felt I should aspire to. There were other mitigating issues as well.

Today I wrote another writer and encapsulated the information in succinct form then said, “But I’m over it.” And suddenly I loved those four words. They could become a writer’s motto. “Hey, I just queried a magazine with a story idea and they rejected it.” Fast forward after self wallowing and say, “But I’m over it.”

So can this little ditty actually bring peace to a bruised ego? Will it help someone who’s been looking for a job for over a year only to receive rejections? Is that what Colonel Sanders said when he was told his idea for Kentucky Fried wasn’t viable? I’m not sure.

What I do know is that anyone who finds themselves confronted by negative words or reactions should have some way to pull themselves back up and bolster their ego. Better to employ a quick, sure fire healing mechanism.

“Whatever. It’s O.K. I’m over it.”

Whohub asks: What do you think of Wikileaks? Is it wrong what they do? Or do they keep governments honest?

I received a message from Whohub.com asking me to comment on Wikileaks. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and decided I would write down my thoughts. I didn’t take the side of what government is doing to Wikileaks but rather what the power of one man rallying a group of people can do to the world…

I think it’s wrong for Wikileaks to put innocent citizens in jeopardy. Hacking into charge card and bank websites and grinding them to a halt is like holding the entire world hostage. This not only applies to individuals but organizations. For example, non profits helping people in dire situations may not be able to process money for donations to send supplies and much-needed assistance to countries like Haiti  if banks are targeted. And isn’t this very much like a bank robbery – going in and meddling with financial institutions and charge card companies?

In many ways what Wikileaks is doing now is much worse than whatever  secrets governments have kept from us over past decades. And sometimes government issues must be kept under wraps to ensure the safety of citizens. Why does Wikileaks feel that they have the power to decide what should or shouldn’t be made available for all to see, including terrorists?

As a journalist I know it’s important to see all sides of the story. Is Wikileaks really doing that? And will whatever they do next cause irreparable damage?

Individuals shouldn’t have that much power. Living in countries where we can vote for our leaders and governments to represent us means that we put our faith in the government, and we can still say when we don’t agree with some of the decisions made. And though it’s not perfect, it’s better than the alternatives – countries run by militants where there is no such thing as freedom of speech; countries where throwing acid in a woman’s face and scarring her for life just for looking at a man is condoned; or where peaceful individuals are incarcerated for trying to create a better society for those who live under oppression.

It’s also scary to think that one man can rally an army of hackers to do whatever he wants and hurt whomever he wishes. Sounds a lot like Hitler to me. My 2 cents. What do you think?